...we didn't do it...

The owners of Geez, Louise! Coffee House are in no way responsible
for Louise's constitutional right to free speech...

Also, children should be busy playing not reading this stuff.

...Life Imitates Fashion...

...Click Here for Home Base

...Click Here for Home Base
The Best Coffee House in Denver!

Friday, February 29, 2008

Coming from both sides...



My neighbor, Ida Mae, got drunk and came over to harass me this afternoon.
...at least she's a funny drunk! My other neighbor, Rhonda, is a lush too, but she gets all mean and throws eggs at the condo.

Maybe I should move...

Wheelin' and Dealin'...



That guy just offered me money! I'm not even dressed like a whore today...How RUDE!

Monday, February 25, 2008

Hippity Hop, and you don't stop...



I took a fall yesterday trying to drag seven loads of laundry at the same time down three flights of stairs!

So, I got myself one of them metal hips! Yikes!

Do you know how big and deep they had to cut to get that sucker in there?

I WANT PERCOCET!!! This is worse than my wine hangover the other night!

Anyway, I couldn't find anyone to fill in for me so I'm at work. I wish I could sit down, but my legs don't bend like that...

Save some money, ladies....



So I got my hair cut last night.

At Clip N Save near the mall...

Why would you pay $85.00 to some freak in a salon who has a hairstyle on herself that you wouldn't put on your dog?

This one cost me $11.00... so I had seventy four bucks left for shoes at Target! Now that makes more sense, doesn't it?

Saturday, February 23, 2008

This is why I hate my job...

Do I smell hot soup?



What a wonderful day! Smooooth sailing. I had my coffee, fed the cats, scrubbed my pits and went to work.

My new deodorant sucks though! It's no SECRET anymore! Yikes.

Friday, February 22, 2008

Seperation of Church & State



As you all know, yesterday I put in my bid for Vice President of the United States...

You can see that I am a religious gal.
And you might find the cult I joined back in '86 to be somewhat extreme...

But let's be serious for a moment. My religion has no bearing on my political life.
Even as Mayor of Salida, CO I never let my freakish religious beliefs get intertwined with my decisions that made our office work within budget, helped keep property taxes low and insured water rights for our children!

Mike Huckabee is so proud of his ties to God.
Like God wanted a Cabinet post or something!
Leave the Constitution alone!

Hillary might be Muslim for all we know. Who cares?

Help me keep God out of the White House!
Well he can certainly stay over in the Lincoln Bedroom, have some fancy grub and a shot before bed, but he needs to keep out of the Oval Office!

Anyway my cult needs operating capital... need some flowers?

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Finally a REAL Choice in the White House...

She's Like the Wind...



I'm hoping it will be a nice sunny warm day today!

I'd hate to freeze my fiberglass fanny off in public.

My great friend and traveling buddy, Linda, came by to give me another one of her famous hugs.
We travel abroad each year.
One time we went to China.
I was so confused there!
What are you all saying? Somebody help us!
It was pretty there. We were in some temple and I pulled a loose piece of gold of a statue and took it home.

Got three fillings out of it!

Linda is like the wind-

Like Patrick Swayze always said, "She's like the wind...through my tree...she rides all night next to me..."

...God, it kinda makes you tear up a little, doesn't it?

Monday, February 18, 2008

FOUR MORE YEARS! FOUR MORE YEARS!



PRESIDENT'S DAY 2008
...what a GAS!

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Here's Looking at You Kid...



How cute is this!!!!

Saturday, February 16, 2008

It's a Rich Man's World...



This guy came up to me this morning and I didn't notice he was there till I felt the warmth of cold, hard cash against my leg!

Anyway I took the money (and his watch) and sent him on his way... unsatisfied and broke.

Hey! I got two mouths to feed, ya know?

Thursday, February 14, 2008

The high cost of Vet Care



I'm so sick of vet care prices! I took "Little" to the vet, spent $1500 to get her scanned and she ended up on the dinner table anyway!

This type of thing must stop! It was really tasty though....

Just say no...



...to Chemical Peels and Dermal Abrasion!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wanna Fight?

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Twisted Sister



There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with my sister, Beth!

I'm just worried sick about her.

First, she's gotten older and to be honest U-GLY! It's that 70's make-up job she insists on slathering on her face. It's that friggin' lazy eye. It's her love of the band Journey, who single-handedly made rock ballads "ok".

But when she showed up with flowers sticking out of her head, I knew she had gone over the edge.

I let her stay with me once...ONCE. She ATE my toothpaste! FREAK!!!!

Monday, February 11, 2008

I like needles....




I'm NURSE NANCY today!

...and I'm out for blood!

I don't bite...I just nibble a little!








My friend Leslie called up the other night bragging about her new "boyfriend".
I told her that one month does not a boyfriend make...she squeeled about how he promised her they'd be together forever.

...he wooed her with things like, "My blood runs through your veins since we met." and "You're just a little piece of cheesecake-heaven I can sink my teeth into."

Pa-lease!

Now she won't come out during the day, she stays up all night, she looks pale to me... like a zombie almost! I'm like, "Girl, even a spray-on-tan would help!"

Then last night she was all floating outside my second story window tapping on the glass! I'm like, "Girl, go home, I'm sleeping and you are getting on my last nerve!"

She friggin' tapped and mumbled till almost sunrise!

I'm over it! Forever? Love ain't like that, miss thing...love ain't like that.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Finally a day off!



I stayed out too late!

So I called in. Luckily George Forman was available on such short notice!

Friday, February 8, 2008

Whip it Good!




So I went to my first Whipped Cream Party last night...


I had no idea there were so many ways to have fun with that stuff!

Anyway I urge you all to go to one of these events!

You can find them in your favorite singles paper, such as "Trash-o-licious".

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Whatever happened to...




...Sally Struthers? Seriously! I know that you, like me, have had this question in the back of our minds! Where is that girl these days?

Well, I had a chance to talk with her (through the power of the mind-meld) and here's what I found out:

We all remember Sally as Gloria Stivic, Meatheads' wife on "All in the Family".
She whinned, we laughed...ah the good ol' days.

Well lately she has been on "Gilmore Girls"! She plays that cat-loving gossip queen, Babette! Sally told me that her favorite episode is when Cinnamon the cat died and they had a wake for it at the house. Hilarious!

She has been on "South Park" stealing food intended for starving children and has also been on Broadway playing Mother Superior in the play "Nutcracker's"!

What's next for our frazzle-fro friend?

"I'd like to drop about 200 pounds and do foot lotion commercials!"

Ah, the agony of d'feet!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Driving me crazy...


Oh my God!
Driving is so fun!
I just got my license(again), and immediately took to the road.
I also took the car, but I did return it. I was flying down the highway trying to text and apply lipstick... I was able to get this snapshot of some semi wanting to play chicken... well I WON!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Super Fat Tuesday

So it's Super Tuesday! I'm voting for you know who tonight!
Then, since it's Fat Tuesday also, I'm gonna try to collect as many beads as I can!

Peek a boobs!

Ah, life! There's just something about it.

I've been trying to get a nice slide show of all my outfits on here but it's not easy for a girl like me. I'm not sure what HTML stands for but it sounds worse than LOL or TMI!

I'm trying to give up meat too, but I NEED bacon! Can't I sneak it when no one is watching?
"Hi Babs! Just sitting here eating kelp!" then, "oops, I dropped something under the table by this plate of bacon! Be right back, Babs...munch crunch slerp burp ...oh, I found it"
Hmmm.

Anyway I need to go stand out front... take care.