No Bus to Hawaii?

I wanted to go to Hawaii, so I went down to Greyhound and they just laughed at me.

...then I looked at a map... yeah, I felt so BLONDE!
Which reminds me: Why do do blondes prefer not to breast feed? It hurts to much to boil the nipples!

Nurse Nancy Strikes Again!

My friend Ben Dover stopped in... luckily I was completely prepared, and could give him a clean bill of health!!!!

Eggs In One Basket....

Oh shut up and leave me alone... I'm a single gal who's lonely on a holiday... can't a girl get a break around here?

I realize I sometimes over-do it, but I refuse to stand around in ball gowns all the time to appease the uptight few.

Anyway, the egg hunt went well...

Battle of the Bulge...

OUCH! It's called Exopthalmos... Goiter of the eye... Graves Disease...
and it is quite uncomfortable! Luckily I have created a cure and should be feeling better by tomorrow! Wish me luck! It sure is bright out here!

$$

Early Retirement

I woke up here on the bench this morning... YIKES!

I remember going to this party...

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

I hate this outfit...but I like green beer, so I guess this is how it goes!

Guess Who...

Ida Mae (See Feb. 29th entry)showed up at work today, shit-faced and chatty...

Three hours later we found her passed out in that awful hat with her head inside the toilet with the lid down over the whole mess...

Chasing Tail...

This is my new puppy, Spinner!
He's litter trained and everything!

Which Way Do I Go? Which Way Do I Go?

I went on a road trip the other day...
I came across some strange choices at a remote crossroads... happiness, perhaps? Or death... I'd HAD to find out.

So I went left first, of course.
I came across a lake of blood, and in its boiling center was the remains of some goof who felt the need to wander into a lake of blood...so I left.



Then, I went to the right...
What a difference! Everyone was naked and happy, dancing and laughing, sounds of music everywhere around us... and all the while hunky muscle men fed us gals forbidden fruits!




It was awesome! So my advice is to go right!!!!

My Sunday Best...on a Saturday

Went to that new church this morning.

Very different from the cult I'm in now... anyway, I was told to wear my Sunday Best, so I did. Even though it's Saturday...
I know everyone loved it, because they were all looking at me whispering to each other about how nice I looked!

They splattered me with some water (which burned a little) and told me I was one of them now! How weird since that is what Big Daddy Supreme told me when I joined my cult back in '86!

Maybe we are all really more alike then we think!

Careful, you could poke someones eye out!

I poked my eye out this morning.

I imagine a new glass one will be expensive. I wonder if a marble would work...

What are YOU looking at?

Ok, so I have a secret life...I'm into things...funky things... things most of you are not into...

I teach classes on Thursday nights in my basement.

The $5 cover is to help with all the props and gear...
Please bring a garbage bag you are comfortable in.

Hubba! Hubba!

OH MY GOD!!!

His name is Sven. He's SOOOO hot! He sent me a letter the other day that said he thought I was pretty and did I want to get some coffee some time...

... ah, YEAH!!!
He works at HAIR PEACE SALON on Broadway!

Anyway, wish me luck!

(I hope he doesn't mind that I can't bear any children!)

Bling Bling up in your face!

Yep. I just bought me an Escalade! Mmmm-Hmmm. Talk to the hand BE-Yotch!

You betta shut up when you're talkin' to me!

Sorry, just doin' it Doggy Style...